There’s this boy who seldom talks. You see him smile a bit then after a while stay blank again.
There’s this girl whose smile is irresistible. She talks softly but a lot, a beautiful voice she has.
Countless nights of reverie are shared by them. He tells stories about things while she cites song lyrics and poem lines. Such a beautiful friendship is made as they go together often. Girl folds a paper heart gives it to him and happily boy kept it and wore in his sleeves.
We already know about the I-like-you-you-like-him story or the I-love-him-he-loves-girl-girl-doesn’t cycle and as of me, I’m tired of those. I used to have crushes who don’t notice me during high school days and they were not even cute guys! Maybe it’s bizarre but I always catch myself blushing whenever I got to sit next to any of them. Anyway, it’s normal for teenage girls. Those are our teenage dreams, yo!
But it’s just now that got such empathy in the same old mediocre story. And however I try to erase it in my mind, it’s already there. Trapped. The story-that-must-not-be-told is circling around my head for a couple of months already. I can tolerate the weight it brings in my head but the emotions; they’re just so hard to carry. So I hope nobody would mind if I write it down.
Difficult situations tend to overpower the happy ones in my friend’s past few days and I can say we became close because of that.
BUT I WAS WRONG. I now discovered that I’m just one of the types he always tells stories upon who’re gullible enough to believe in him. I hate myself for believing that we are already friends when in fact, other people talk about non-sense in my back and those include him.
It is indeed depressing to know that the person you consider as your TRUE friend is just one of the persons you’ve been always afraid of dealing with – fakes.
I’ve been always the shy kind of girl, I shout, yes, but I talk so rarely to a lot of persons. I’m not anti-social though. I’m just afraid to talk. Of being talked about. And finding friends is like finding gold in the midst of different shining stones to me. I treasure my friends so much. When they ignore me, I cry a lot. And a lot more when I find out that they don’t consider me as their friend. I don’t know why this night was so stressful when I in fact don’t have anything to get stressed about. But honestly, I am bothered by what happened at school this afternoon. Somebody told me something. Something that I cannot get out of my head just that quickly. I know I should not take that seriously but I can’t contain it. Maybe this is the upshot of being afraid of people so much. You tend to get paranoid about people talking about you.
Before anything else, I want to clarify that I don’t give a damn about love when my academic status is on the edge of falling apart. I have no right to care about other people when I cannot even solve a simple Surveying problem. So please have mercy, stop linking me with anybody. I’m not that kind of girl! L
You don’t know how much trauma I get whenever I get aware that people are judging me based on the people I always text or incidentally shared a ride with. Please. I’m only trying to make friends!
At this part let me tell “you” this:
None of us would’ve thought that I’ll be doing such familiar thing to you. But hey, this is about me too. There are two things I want you to know, I treasured your stories but I never thought that being kind to you and acting as a shoulder that you can rely on (even if you are not there when I’m in need) mean I have to experience this kind of prejudice. I’m like this because I really hate being treated that way so if ever I said things that aren’t true to your perspective and before I say any more offending things to you, please accept my apology. I too was offended.
There’s this boy who seldom talks. You see him smile a bit then after a while stay blank again. And I thought I knew him well.
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